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Friday, 3 October 2014

"My Fellow Nigerians, Quite A Number Of You Smell" - Uti Nwachukwu



“Yes, my fellow Nigerians. Quite a number of you smell. Be it body or mouth odour, but it has become a threat to social existence in our society, because some of you are so selfish and too wicked to bother about personal hygiene.

“With or without anti-perspirants, shave your armpit hair.

“Mouth odour is an epidemic. Is it our food or our weather? Are people using cheap toothpaste? What is it? If I meet 10 people in a day at least seven of them have some kind of funny breath.
“For those of you with mouth odor, please follow this rules.

“Rule number 1. Abeg, do not use your toothbrush for more than a month. Use good toothpaste o, fluoride toothpaste. Use dental floss. You no sabi use floss? Search for the instructions on YouTube. Use Mouth-wash frequently. Tongue-scrapper/cleaner comes in handy as well.


“During the day buy and chew the sugar-free healthy mint gums if you go out to socialise. You can’t go wrong! So that’s it o!! I’ve done my part to help you people o. I’m neither a doctor nor a health specialist, I’m just a guy who has had experiences and does not joke with personal hygiene – whether it concerns me or others.”

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